Saturday, March 26, 2016

Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice

In the latest DC Comics effort to saturate the superhero movie market, we now have this week the release of “Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice” starring Ben Affleck as “Batman” and British Actor Henry Cavil who reprises his role as “Superman” from his 2013 “Man of Steel”, that also co-stared Amy Adams as Daily Planet journalist and Superman love interest “Lois Lane”.

It's been nearly two years since Superman's (Henry Cavill) has his colossal battle with General Zod (Michael Shannon) of Krypton who came to Earth and devastated the city of Metropolis in his pursuit to kill the Son of Jor-el.  In that 2013 effort we saw enormous loss of life and collateral damage that left many mortal humans feeling angry and helpless by Superman’s almost ‘God Like” power including crime-fighting billionaire Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck). Convinced that Superman is now a threat to all of humanity, Batman embarks on a personal vendetta to end Superman’s reign on Earth, while at the same time the conniving “Lex Luthor” played by Jesse Eisenberg launches his own diabolical crusade against the Man of Steel for his own enrichment of money and power.

MY REVIEW: First as an action film “Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice” is visually very fun to watch during its 2:30 minute running time. HOWEVER, if I told you I just made a movie about myself – yes me Lester, whereby the opening scene involves me coming down in a daze in the middle of the night towards my kitchen. And as I proceeded to continue to walk in my almost zombie like state towards my kitchen, I move towards the stove turning on the gas for the oven dropping to my knees to stick my head in the door where I begin to eat a large slice of pepperoni pizza and simultaneously begin to recite Abraham Lincoln’s “Gettysburg Address”. 

Meanwhile, with my legs exposed from the oven’s door  two women are giving me a pedicure on one foot and a foot massage on the other, while in the living room my soon to be ex-girlfriend is sitting on my couch watching TV. She is watching a recording of a "Best of Jerry Springer Show Marathon" eating a large bowl of creamy “mac and cheese”, but in fact is not really “mac and cheese”. Instead because she was too tired to take the time to simply boil the necessary water for the pasta, she substituted a large bag of Lays Cheese Puffs that she smothered in two cans of Cheese Wiz as she puts it “makes a tasty creamy alternative”. Now, you would say after reading this scenario “What the hell Lester”?

Well, that’s what I said while watching “Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice”………...what the hell. I mean it is never really boring to watch, but my kitchen oven scenario made as about much coherent sense as this multi-million dollar high pricey effort. And while my story is easy to visualize from the way I wrote it, it fundamentally makes no sense to tell it as a big picture action thriller plot for people to spend that much time viewing it.

Now, I never tell people not to watch a movie; so in this case if you really want to see this “Batman vs Superman” clash I do recommend you should watch it when it comes to your cable provider as a simple matter of convenience and cost.

HOWEVER, if I find out you actually drove to a theater and dropped $50 in tickets and food concessions to see this, I promise I will drive to your home in the middle of the night dressed in a full black Ninja out-fit. I will break in your home very quietly and stealthy proceed to move upstairs to where you are sleeping and begin to use a Louisville Slugger baseball bat to hobble your legs just like Kathy Bates “Annie Wilkes” did to James Caan’s “Paul Sheldon” in the film adaption of the Stephen King’s book “Misery”………………….just because it would make about as much sense as "Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice" did. And yet I have no doubt this film's sequel is in the works as we speak and read. Amazing.

1 – 3/4 Stars  

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